Once upon a time it was practically illegal to start something off with once upon a time. Just because it was relatively over used back in the day, and now starts off every fairytale known to man, apparently means that it is unacceptable for good writing in today's society. Your opening hook, your first line must be completely original, totally catchy, not clear and honest, or you go directly to jail, and no matter how many times you roll the dice, you'll never roll doubles. You'll continue to lose your turn until you give in, pay the restitution, and sell your soul to the anti-once upon a time nazis.
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